My second major revelation is that although autism has been a disaster for me in the career arena, it has been a powerful strength in anothear important area of my life. In particular, I am learning that as a result of my autism, I can cut through the most common rationalizations and justifications for domestic violence and child abuse. As a child, I was subjected to psychological child abuse by both parents, particularly my father. I am also a witness to my dad's ongoing campaign of psychological terror against my mother. I knew from a very early age that child abuse and domestic violence were morally wrong and absolutely evil. Unlike my neurotypical mother, I never searched my behavior to determine what I might have done wrong to provoke the abuse. I never tried to fix my behavior in an attempt to appease my father and end the abuse. I also never justified and rationalized child abuse and domestic violence.
clear and strong sense of morality allowed me to grasp that my father's abuse
was motivated by a deep desire to exercise absolute power and control over his
female relatives. This clear understanding of the difference between good and
evil empowered me to stand up to my father from a very early age on my own
behalf and my mother's behalf. I knew that my dad's abuse against me and my
mother was inherently wrong and had no justification. I also realized that it
was completely unconnected with my actions and my mother's behavior. I never
wasted time looking for my dad's approval or hoping he would change or believing
that he would stop abusing me if only I could develop better table manners or social skills or make any other changes in my life.
I believe that I can make a contribution to the fields of domestic violence and
child abuse by presenting my perspectives on these issues from an Asperger
perspective. I think that my autistic point of view is a powerful strength when
it comes to addressing these problems. I believe that the autistic viewpoint
can help victims and survivors of domestic violence and child abuse to
understand that they should stop rationalizing the behavior of their abusers.
They should stop trying to fix their conduct in a vain attempt to gain their
abuser's approval and put an end to the abuse. They should realize that their
abuser is only interested in establishing and maintaining power and control over
their victims and is unrelated to the victim's behavior. Thus, the only way to
end such pathological and sadistic abuse in most cases is simply to end the relationship. One should not negotiate with or attempt to appease a hard-core abuser who is engaged in patriarchal terrorism. A total separation from the abuse is the only viable solution in such situations.