Saturday, May 4, 2013

my dad did it again

So my dad and mom came over to play bridge tonight. I was wary because he began picking on me and my physical appearance from the moment he walked in the door, taunting me by telling me to brush my hair and dismissing with his usual contempt my attempts to tell him about my accomplishments. He psychologically brutalized me and my mother throughout the bridge game. He ruined my Shabbos intentionally and so feeling that G-d abandoned me I decided I am going to violate Shabbos. Grandma sided with him against me, getting upset with me for crying and not with him for psychologically terrorizing me. I am pondering my next move - facing a society that won't hire me because of my autism, beginning to network with autism organizations but having no certain job prospects, working with vocational rehabilitation but doubtful they will help me. I want to escape my family but I face a society that refuses to let me earn a living because of my autism and has systematically refused to hire me and fired me for 17 years and counting with no end in sight. And no I am not interested in SSI and welfare because I want to work.