tonight I cleaned my room in grandma's house - for the last time - and grandma wondered why I was cleaning at night - I couldn't tell her - I planned it all very carefully - while at the movies with my family - I stole a private moment with my male cousin who supports me to tell him my plans - and swore him to secrecy - he liked my plan and supported me and promised not to tell anyone - and I had panic attacks today - but this is to be expected - I went to the South County Mental Health Center in Delray today for the last time and happily told them my news -and also - I spoke with a Haitian male social worker who offered me great encouragement, support, and perspective - I felt so happy inside today knowing I am free - and also - once I finished cleaning - it was my head that cleared and my mind and soul are ready for the freedom journey
later that night....I am sweating again - and panic attacks again - but I am going forward no matter what - I am going to freedom and this is my goal, my dream, and my life - I am claiming my birthright as a human being - the right of freedom of speech - to speak freely about how my family has terrorized me in the past - and how I am finally overcoming the legacy of their calculated and intentional cruelty and deception toward me -
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